Jokes other sites are gonna copy and paste off here!

[gerry]

I joined a speed dating sight for over 70 called pass the parcel.

 

[BC]

I thought I had arthritis, so I saw the doctor. Turns out it's early-onset rigor mortis.

 

[Monty]

 

[Monty]

Imagine being a referee and having to look at that for 90 minutes!

 

[BC]

For me, it's always hard talking to a pretty woman. But then she notices, and it goes soft again.

 

[gerry]

Best way to talk to a pretty woman is turn your back to them then at least you wont notice them walking away.

 

[BC]

Today, I was almost scammed out of £1,000. I was on the phone and about to hand over my bank details when, at the last second, I recognised my daughter's voice.



Cr. Brian Kiley

 

[BC]

Well! That's the absolute last time I'm going to donate blood.

All the bloody questions: Whose blood is it? Where did you get it from? Why is it in a bucket?



Cr. Rory Donaldson


P.S. I'll be taking a bit of a break from the forum. In the words of Antarctic explorer Captain Oates, I may be some time.