Jokes other sites are gonna copy and paste off here!

[ALANST]

 

[ALANST]

 

[BC]

My father always used to say, "the first rule of theatre is to leave them wanting more." Fantastic guy, terrible anaesthetist.

 

[markfinn]

 

[markfinn]

 

[markfinn]

 

[markfinn]

 

[markfinn]

 

[markfinn]

 

[ALANST]

 

[ALANST]

 

[ALANST]

 

[BC]

I see corduroy pillows are making headlines.

 

[ALANST]

 

[ALANST]

 

[BC]

James Bond sports grey hair in his latest film, "No Time To Dye".

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If you cut your left arm off, your right arm would be left.

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My landlord wants to talk about my high heating bills. I told him my door is always open.

 

[ALANST]

 

[ALANST]

 

[ALANST]

 

[BC]

I was leaving the office the other day when I found the CEO standing in front of the shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

"Listen", he said, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work for me?"

"Sure", I said.

I turned the machine on, inserted the paper and pressed the start button.

"Excellent", he said, as the paper disappeared into the machine. "I just need one copy."