• Hi Guest, The forum will be moving hosts on 26 July and as such will be closed from Midday until the move has completed.
    As we will be with new hosts it may take a while before DNS get updated so it could take while before you can get back on the forum.
    I think it will take at least 4 hours but could easily be 48!
    Ark Royal
  • There seems to be a problem with some alerts not being emailed to members. I have told the hosts and they are investigating.
  • Hi Guest Just in case you were not aware I wanted to highlight that you can now get a 20% discount on Inform Racing.
    Simply enter the coupon code ukbettingform when subscribing here.
    We have a lot of members who are existing users of Inform Racing so help is always available if needed.
    Best Wishes
    AR
  • Sorry for the ongoing issues that you may have been experiencing whilst using the forum lately

    It really is frustrating when the forum slows down or Server Error 500 pops up.

    Apparently the hosts acknowledge there is a problem.
    Thank you for using our services and sorry for the experienced delay!
    Unfortunately, these errors are due to a higher server load. Our senior department knows about the issue and they are working towards a permanent resolution of the issue, however, I'd advise you to consider using our new cPanel cloud solutions: https://www.tsohost.com/web-hosting


    I will have to investigate what the differences are with what We have know compared to the alternative service they want us to migrate to.
    Keep safe.
    AR
  • Hi Guest Just in case you were not aware I wanted to highlight that you can now get a free 7 day trial of Horseracebase here.
    We have a lot of members who are existing users of Horseracebase so help is always available if needed, as well as dedicated section of the fourm here.
    Best Wishes
    AR

Jokes other sites are gonna copy and paste off here!

Delboy99

Mare

A beautiful woman is sunbathing on the balcony of her apartment, completely naked​


At some point, she sees a piece of paper tied to a string being lowered at her level from one of the other apartments upstairs.

She stands up, and grabs it. there are some words written on it.

"I'm the guy who lives at 32B. You are incredibly beautiful. I'm so excited right now. I want to make love to you. If you too want to make love to me, pull this string one time. If you don't want to make love to me, pull it eighty times; faster the last twenty";)
 

Delboy99

Mare

Glass eye​


A guy just exited a high rise hotel on the beach and he's walking along the sand and boom something hits his foot. After further examination he sees that it's a glass eye. He immediately looks up and there's a beautiful woman on the 3rd floor looking over the balcony and he shout's "is this your glass eye"? She said yes and invites him up to her room. After drinks, dinner and a sleepover the guy wakes up in the morning and asks "do you do this all the time"? She replied "only if somebody catches my eye" .;)
 

Delboy99

Mare

So last night I fell off my balcony...​


Instead of falling and getting really badly hurt, I kinda just floated down to the ground... landing without a scratch.

The news spread fast and everyone was wondering how that happened. I was later asked to explain the whole event, but I couldn't. I guess I just didn't get the whole gravity of the situation.;)
 

Delboy99

Mare

Bad dream​


A guy went to the doctor complaining about a bad dream.

Doctor : what seems to be the problem?

Guy: I'm having dreams about this chicken playing in a soccer championship, every night.

Doctor: for how long?

Guy: must be a week or so.

Doctor: okay, we'll solve this problem, just take this pills twice a day for a week, starting now!

Guy: OK Doc thank you but can I start tomorrow cause tonight is the final?;)
 

Delboy99

Mare

Dreams​


An older couple are laying in bed one morning and the wife said “I had a dream I was in Walmart.”

The husband said, “I had a dream I was naked with three women.”

The wife asked, “Was I there?”

Husband replied, “No, you were in Walmart.”;)
 

Delboy99

Mare

A guy said to his psychologist, “Doc, you gotta help me. I‘m having strange, recurring dreams that I’m either a teepee or a wigwam. Every night, teepee, wigwam, teepee, wigwam! Please, make it stop!” The doctor said,​


“Relax, looks like you are two tents.”;)
 

Delboy99

Mare

Good ol’ Russian joke​


Stalin appears to Putin in a dream and says: “I have two bits of advice for you: kill off all your opponents and paint the Kremlin blue.”

Putin asks, “Why blue?”

Stalin: "I knew you would not object to the first one.";)
 

Delboy99

Mare

A man with really bad eyesight was going for a job as a pilot.​


It was his dream job, so he asked a friend how he might get passed the interview, what with his terrible eyesight and all.

His friend said "stick a pin in a tree on the other side of the field from the office. When they ask you about your eyesight say that you're able to see a pin stuck in the tree and it's been distracting you during the interview."

The next week the friend asked how the interview went.

"I didn't get the job. Everything was going well until they asked about my eyesight. I had done what you said -- I stuck a pin in the tree, and mentioned in during the interview. They wanted to see this pin for themselves, so we all went across the field to see it"

"Ok, that sounds fine -- you did have the pin stuck in the tree. So what happened?"

"I tripped over a cow...";)
 
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