In a restaurant
I went into a restaurant and ordered everything in Chinese, which surprised everyone in the Italian restaurant. I ordered the chicken and noticed how cold it was.
I said "Hang on, this chicken's cold"
The waiter said "I'm not surprised, it's been dead 2 weeks"
I said "And one of it's legs is shorter than the other"
The waiter asked "Do you want to eat it or dance with it?"
I was annoyed, so I said "Nevermind the chicken, bring me a lobster instead"
The waiter took back the chicken and brought me a lobster with one claw.
I asked "Why has this lobster only got one claw?"
The waiter said "It was in a fight"
So I said "Then bring me the winner"