• Hi Guest Just in case you were not aware I wanted to highlight that you can now get a free 7 day trial of Horseracebase here.
    We have a lot of members who are existing users of Horseracebase so help is always available if needed, as well as dedicated section of the fourm here.
    Best Wishes
    AR

Jokes other sites are gonna copy and paste off here!

A young engineer name of Paul


Was equipped with an octagonal ball

The square of his weight

Times his pecker, plus eight

Is his phone number, give him a call!;)
 
A young engineer name of Paul

Was equipped with an octagonal ball

The square of his weight

Times his pecker, plus eight

Is his phone number, give him a call!;)
 
There once was an artist named Saint

Who swallowed some samples of paint

All Shades of the spectrum

Flowed out of his rectum

With a colourful lack of restraint!;)
 
here once was a man from Bonaire

Who was doing his wife on the stair

When the banister broke

He doubled his stroke

And finished her of in midair!;)
 
There was a young lady whose chin

Resembled the point of a pin

So she had it made sharp

And purchased a harp

And played several tunes with her chin!;)
 
There was an old lady of Chertsey

Who made a remarkable Curtsy

She twirled round and round

Til she sunk underground

Which distressed all the people of Chertsey.;)
 
There was an old man in a tree

Whose whiskers were lovely to see

But the birds of the air

Plucked them perfectly bare

To make themselves nests in the tree;)
 
There was a man from the upper class
Who drank to the bottom of his glass.
He drank with his mule;
They said “what a fool”!
When he tripped and he fell on his ass.;)
 
There once was an old man of Lyme
Who married three wives at a time.
When asked, “Why a third?”
He replied, “One's absurd!
And bigamy, sir, is a crime.”;)
 
A GIRL JOINED A MEN'S TEAM FOR LUCK
SHE WAS HOPING TO MEET A YOUNG BUCK
SHE THOUGHT "WOW MY NIGHT'S GONNA BE GOOD"
BUT SHE MISUNDERSTOOD
WHEN SHE HEARD HIM YELL "WATCH OUT FOR THE PUCK";)
 
There once was a lad from Doon,
Who owned a singing baboon,
And when folks walked past,
They would let out a gasp,
As he sang them their favourite tune!!!!!;)
 
There once was a young man named Phil
Who had a puppy named Bill.
When asked, "Does he bite?"
Phil answered, "He might."
Then the puppy named Bill bit Phil.;)
 
There is a young schoolboy named Mason,
Whose mom cuts his hair with a basin.
When he stands in one place,
With a scarf round his face,
It's a mystery which way he’s facing.;)
 
There was a young fellow named Clyde,
who fell in an outhouse and died.
Along came his brother,
and fell in another,
and now they're interred side by side.;)
 
I'd rather have Fingers than Toes,
I'd rather have Ears than a Nose.
And as for my Hair,
I'm glad it's all there,
I'll be awfully said, when it goes.;)
 
I'm really determined and keen,
To start giving this house a spring clean.
I will do it I say,
Yes, I'll do it today,
Well, I'll do it tomorrow, I mean.;)
 
There was a young dentist who thrilled,
To the sound of a tooth being filled.
He would practise, they said,
Every night in his shed,
With the old drill he's skilled.;)
 
I've done it -- I've done mown the lawn,
But my muscles are aching and torn.
I could swear there are some,
In my legs and my bum,
I've not used since the year I was born.;)
 
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